You Can’t Do It – Alone

Marriage is hard. Understatement of the millennium, right?

Two very different human beings brought up by two different people in two different households. Two people with two different personalities, two different life experiences, family traditions, ideals, goals…then God does the unthinkable. He brings us together to become one.

It’s a crazy recipe for disaster if you stop and think about it. I should know. I experienced a disastrous marriage that ended in an ugly divorce. Is there any other kind? I know how fast good goes bad.

There’s almost no chance for success. Statistics prove my point.

But God…

He created each of us. He knew we could fit together. Two people as different as peanut butter and chocolate, yet a perfect, unmovable, unstoppable union when He is in the mix.

You can’t do it without Him. Sure, you’ll try in your own strength, but when you do it yourself it’s not long before you’re discouraged and disappointed and bitterness takes up residency and signs a lifelong lease with your heart.

Ready for some truth? You can’t do it. You can’t. You won’t succeed. I promise you that. Stop beating your head against a wall. Stop reading the self-help books, “Self” anything is the first step on the wrong path. Stop listening to Oprah. Goodness, girl, she isn’t even married. Stop thinking there’s some three-step plan to marriage bliss. There isn’t and there never will be.

There’s one step to success and it’s Jesus. Always has been. Always will be. Forever and ever Amen. We love because He first loved us, remember?

Are you going through a rough patch with your husband today? Then bring your vanilla latte to the couch and kick off your shoes. I’m about to share two exceptional and necessary parts of the nature of Jesus that are a must-have to create a marriage that rocks your world.

Surrender. I’ve said it already, but you need to hear it again. You can’t do it. Your marriage was created by Him and for Him. God desires to show the world His son through you both. Each time you are frustrated and annoyed, each time you’re angry or agitated– you’re trying to be in control. That’s not your job, it’s His. Surrender. Give the Lord your marriage today. Let go of the bitterness, frustration and aggravations holding you back from all He has for your marriage.

Sacrifice. Dictionary.com defines it this way: to surrender or give up, or permit injury or disadvantage to. When was the last time you let go of something that was bothering you, a word he said, or something he didn’t do to help? When you lay your life down and give up the bitterness and vengeful thoughts, He will take it from there. Frustrated your honey hasn’t taken out the garbage again today? You have to take it out again, right? Ask the Lord to give you peace through the disadvantage and permit the injury to your heart that you weren’t listened to.

For God so loved the world that He gave his one and only son. John 3:16. Jesus gave when we didn’t deserve it. Jesus surrendered His life for us. Jesus sacrificed.

Surrender and sacrifice, they work hand in hand. Nothing could be more difficult. I should know. I failed at my first marriage because I didn’t understand. But, I didn’t make the same mistake twice. Paul and I are celebrating fifteen years of marriage tomorrow. I couldn’t be more grateful for the beauty from ashes God gave me in my second husband.

From someone who’s been there, let me say this one more time: You can’t do it without Him.

Remember that.