Where are you older woman?

I’ve observed something while travelling across the country; the gatherings at church’s and women’s conferences seem to be missing representation.

While I love to encourage women at these events, there is a piece of womanhood that is absent. Sure, there are gaggles of ladies who gather still, sharing stories about their young children and a desperate need for a weekend of refreshment.  But, as I eye almost any room in the USA, above the cacophony of sing-song voices there’s a silent majority absent—the older woman.

The older and younger women are so needed to be in relationship. The Bible shows us two beautiful examples with Ruth and Naomi and with Mary and Elizabeth.  It seems to me the intergenerational friendships are few and far between these days and sadly, not given the spotlight it deserves.

The American church does a wonderful job of supporting young families. Pick up any weekly bulletin and you may discover a mosaic of monthly events for a young mom or a married couple.  While I understand a church will support and encourage anything God honoring and helpful, what I’ve come to witness is a problem that has me confused.

I wonder, do the younger women misunderstand the value of an older wiser woman in their life? Or, do the older women misunderstand the value of the younger woman and the value of being a vessel poured out into their lives? Which one is confused about their value? Could it be both are?

The absence of the older woman is apparent online, too. While writing my recent book, I asked for assistance from women, a focus group I prayed I could use to ask questions and receive answers.  I used their words in the pages to encourage my readers, moms in particular. While it has been an incredible group of ladies, my biggest mistake was thinking I’d find older women on social media. This generation does not hang out much there.

Older women still live by the traditional protocol of a phone call or a hand written note. They desire face to face conversation and appreciate a coffee date or a cup of tea in the same room.  According to an article in Forbes Magazine our only real method of connection is through authentic communication. Studies show that only 7% of communication is based on the written or verbal word. A whopping 93% is based on nonverbal body language.

Younger woman, do you have an older woman in your life? If your heart is desperate for godly inspiration, if your soul is parched for deep and loving wisdom it may take stepping away from the internet and stepping out of your comfort zone to walk down the street and knock on her door or send a note, or invite her face to face to spend some time with you.

My heart aches for what is missing in the church. It takes all I have not to cry out, where are you older woman? I pray you’re not discouraged. Where are you older woman? Do you forget how much your counsel and wisdom is needed? Where are you older woman? You are needed to comfort the hurting, bind the wounds of the heart, and breathe spiritual life into the younger generation. Like fine wine, the years you’ve travelled along life’s road are full of a sweetness not to be wasted but to be poured into another.

Precious older woman, your silence is not silent, it’s deafening. Do not shrink back or allow pride to swallow up the work still to be done.  You are missed and you are needed.

That they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, 5 to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed. Titus 2:4-5