This week I’ve been struggling. You’d think having a book deal would put me over the moon, right? It did at first. It really did.
Then I began writing and comparing. I told myself, You’re online to gather solid statistics and noteworthy New York Times articles to cite for this book. Research. That’s what you’re doing.
Sure, it began innocently enough. But, in a matter of nanoseconds my eyes were gazing on bedazzled websites and mesmerized by the words of an INCREDIBLE author…or an AMAZINGLY GIFTED blogger, or a ministry leader’s EPIC take on scripture that the Holy Spirit has never eluded to me.
The whispers in my head trailed quickly to my heart and their conversation began, What are you thinking? Women won’t want to read this book you’re writing. What mom wants to be thought of as “mean”? What woman besides YOU needs encouragement all the time?
But, it’s not the mean you think. Loving boundaries! That’s what I’m writing about. Encouragement for women is always needed.
Whatever. Still, there’s no way you’ll be able to convey your message like she does. By the way, that gal over there…her book is better than yours and that other gorgeous gal? Her blog is not only better—women read it. Which means God must love her more.
Have you girls ever been there?
Maybe you aren’t struggling with comparing yourself to writers, perhaps your comparison has to do with watching someone else’s well behaved straight A student who doesn’t have a saucy tongue or sassy mouth, or putting your eyes on your girlfriend’s size 3 jeans you couldn’t squeeze into as a toddler? Could it be you’re on Pinterest looking at all those incredible kitchen updates and wondering why your husband won’t work just a little bit harder to make your dream home come true?
I’ve been there, too. Jesus met me face to face this morning. I’ve learned to seek Him when I begin to feel like this –even when I fail at listening sometimes. His Word washes away the sticky lies that threaten to pull me down.
“Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Luke 6:37
I will rejoice greatly in the Lord,
My soul will exult in my God;
For He has clothed me with garments of salvation,
He has wrapped me with a robe of righteousness,
As a bridegroom decks himself with a garland,
And as a bride adorns herself with her jewels. – Isaiah 61:10
Verses that remind me not to put my eyes anywhere else but on the truth that I’m loved more than ever by my Savior –this very minute—right where I am. And, if that weren’t enough, the words in my Jesus Calling this morning sealed the deal:
“Stop judging and evaluating yourself, for this is not your role. Above all, stop comparing yourself with other people. This produces feelings of pride or inferiority; sometimes, a mixture of both. I lead each of My children along a path that is uniquely tailor-made for him or her. Comparing is not only wrong; it is also meaningless.
Don’t look for affirmation in the wrong places: your own evaluations, or those of other people. The only source of real affirmation is My unconditional Love. “
Do you need a gentle reminder today that you’re LOVED beyond measure? STOP looking anywhere else but up. Jesus should be our focus. He is the only One we should desire to please. I LOVE what author, Donna Partow says, “You do not have to be perfect to become a vessel God can use.”
Friends, don’t drink the poison of comparison today. It’s the first step to coveting. How about we both head over to the refreshing Living Waters for our truth today?
I deal with this issue on a regular basis, never more so than when someone I know gets a book deal ;);) or has a seemingly more active ministry than me. I dealt with this issue in my book. Would you me allow to quote a portion? OK – I’ll take that as a “yes.”
In talking about the “stages” of cancer and otherwise:
“We must not, nor should we, stage our sufferings in comparison to others’ sufferings. Our ‘somethings’ stand on a stage all their own and are significant in the eyes of the Lord. He can use them all to proffer hope in the our hearts and in the hearts of a generation struggling to understand the greater things of God. We must grace the stage we stand upon instead of rushing the stage of another. The voice of hope gets muffled when too many people stand on a stage they were never meant to grace. Stage 0 stands alone. So do stages I, II, III, and IV. I cannot crowd out their witness just because I think that, if I suffer more or suffer less, I’ll do more or do less for the kingdom. I can and should only do the more and less of my stage IIB. It is enough for me to stand there, and for you, it must be enough to stand on your stage as well.
There will always be disparity between the stages we’re allowed. We cannot change the suffering platforms that cradle our stories. However, we can change the way we take our cues, make our marks, and speak our lines. Never will God’s spotlight be more visible upon us than when we’re standing exactly where we should be and are living the script authentically, without edit and without compromise. When that happens, our staging no longer matters. Hope is revealed, and God receives the renown he is due.” (f. elaine olsen, Beyond Cancer’s Scars, p. 13)
For what it’s worth – I needed to reread this today. Hope it’s an encouragement to you as well. Love you.
Elaine-this is INCREDIBLE. Your words speak right to me. How did I miss this first comment? That’s why I recommend your book!
Of friend…so good and you know, so what I needed to read this week. It’s a constant battle. Bring it!
Love you and your heart and this book. I need this book. Grace as you write!
Not sure what happened to my first comment. It basically said you are awesome and this is just what I needed today.
Love you and your heart. I need this book. Can’t wait to read it. Grace as you write!!
Thanks Jessica! As always, your encouragement is GRACE-FILLED. LOVE YOU!
Elaine – incredible, as usual. LOVE your words my friend.
Thank you! For always speaking from your heart because it touches so many of us in our worlds too.
God’s got your back… and we are here to help you know you are doing a great work of the Lord in your book.
Thanks for sharing this post. We all play the comparison game from time to time. But, need to remember that God has different roads for each of us to travel. We all have different gifts and talents and need to strive to be the best we can be, but not compare ourselves to others.
Blessings,
Deborah
Wonderful words of wisdom, Deborah!