Making Goals with Your Spouse {Printable}

I’m not a New Year’s Resolution kind of gal.

I respect those who dig this sort of thing, but I’ve discovered it’s not the best weight loss plan for me. And, according to an article in Forbes Magazine, only 8% succeed with any kind of resolution at all. So, apparently, I’m in good company.

Sure, I can romanticize the idea of declaring something. But, I’ve never been the “blab it and grab it” type. I’m a middle-aged woman, remember? New Year’s Resolutions fall into the same camp as bedtime stories, sweet and memorable.

Except, I know the truth. I don’t believe in the Tooth Fairy anymore, either.

We Do Something Different

Still, the desire to do better and be better has its selling points. I try to be a good steward of time. It’s a gift. I want to make the most of it and goals are helpful – resolutions on the other hand are not.

What Paul and I do is a little different. We have an annual “Goal Summit”.

{Download Goal Summit 2017 for you and your spouse!}

We make a date each January and head to a coffee shop for our own private “Goal Summit”. He gets his Earl Grey and I sit with my Cafe Miso in a quiet corner spot. I pull out a yellow legal pad and he taps on his Evernote app.

Then we begin.

I line my legal pad and create three columns :

Finances

Health

Faith

• Finances. Finances are a big part of our time. We talk about how we plan to pay off debt, purchase a new vehicle/sell an old one, house projects we want to complete and which ones are doable this year. We talk about kids and upcoming big expenses which could be anything from the sports they want to play (cha-ching$$$) to an upcoming wedding like we had last year. I write down goals/ideas in the column for the year where our finances are concerned.
• Health. Then we do the same with our Health column. Will we join a gym? Are we making a commitment to actually visiting the gym we signed up for lat year? How are we doing in the diet department, can we commit to more veggies, less sugar. You know, that sort of thing.
• Faith. Our Faith column is reserved for our spiritual health. We talk about Bible studies we plan to do with our kids, or lead in our home. It’s the spot we write down the Bible studies, or books we want to read together. This is also where we put down a goal for our marriage. Maybe it’s reading through the Bible together, or a marriage conference we want to attend this year.

For us, it’s a good time to dream and plan and maybe even make a few goals. The mood is relaxed and the conversation is encouraging. Writing goals for the year down (or in your Evernote) puts a stake in the ground. It replaces good intentions with accountability. When we don’t meet and talk about goals then we’re just stuck with good intentions.

Good intentions are just ambitious liars. – Jon Acuff

I love that quote by Jon Acuff. Good intentions are just ambitious liars. We need accountability. This is where your other-half comes in.

When it comes to making goals, we need to begin with our best friend. If our spouse isn’t onboard then problems loom like dark clouds on the horizon. If one of you decides that this year is the year to make a career change or  become a vegan while the other is a red-blooded carnivore, your year looks a little rough. But, maybe if you figure out during your summit just when you can afford to look for another job or how to navigate dinnertime with a vegan meals during the week and meat on the weekends, you’re on to something. Plus, you avoid a huge future fight .

Communication works wonders when you’re not irritated already. – Joanne Kraft

You and your spouse are a team, remember? It’s important to make a plan for the year and use my printable Goal-Summit-2017 to make this happen!

Heed this one warning: Don’t make this an iron-clad document that you get notarized and hold over your husband’s head. Instead, pray about everything. Surrender your goals on occasion. Sacrifice and humility are two traits of Jesus we all could apply to our lives.

Paul and I will be having our very own Goal Summit after the kids are off break and back in school. Let me know if you decide to have your very own Goal Summit this year. You might just discover this meeting of the minds is what your heart needs to kick off the new year.

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Joanne Kraft is a frequent guest on Focus on the Family and Family Life Today. Joanne is the author of The Mean Mom’s Guide to Raising Great Kids. She’d be the first to tell you she has four kids who are great – most of the time.