So often, I voice my opinions and air every single solitary thought in my head—out loud. It reminded me that of those two questions I try to ask Paul daily. Two simple things I believe can help change your marriage.
Heading up to his office, I brought him a steaming cup of tea and threw my arms around his neck. “What can I do for you today?” (Question One)
“Nothing. I’m fine.” He smiled and hugged me back.
Sacrificial Love
When was the last time you asked your husband what you could do for him? I mean seriously asked him if there’s anything you can do? My question was recently answered with, “Well, the pantry in the kitchen is really bugging me. Do you have time to clean it out?”
He might as well of asked me to stick bamboo under my fingernails.
Guess what I did this morning? Yep. The pantry. You know what? It wasn’t too much of a hassle after all.
Maybe you’re thinking, Ask him? What about him asking me? I’m the one who works all day and picks up after him so he can come home from work and sit on the couch the rest of the night. Why doesn’t he ask me for a change?
Sacrifice must begin with someone. Why not you? Jesus is my example when I don’t feel like doing one more thing for anyone.
God so loved the world that He gave His only son. John 3:16
When I think about what’s been done for me, the least I can do is ask Paul what I can do to help him today.
Question Number Two
“How can I pray for you today?” My husband is not the first to pray out loud or to think about praying for others first. Yes, he will lead our family in prayer from time to time but it’s not his go-to gift. That’s where my second question comes in. When I ask him how I can pray for him, it reminds him we’re a team. It tells him I’ve got his back.
When I’m faithful with these two questions, it sets the tone for our day. But, I must warn you…the longer you make this your daily routine the more your expectations of him may trip you up. Just because you’re finding ways to bless your man doesn’t mean you should keep a scorecard reminding you or him of all you’re doing. That’s a bad idea.
When I ask these two questions and follow through with no expectations of my own, I’ve discovered what I’ve really been doing is laying a brick by brick foundation for a strong marriage.
What do you make sure to do for your husband daily?
When was the last time you stopped and prayed for him?
Share some marriage wisdom below.
You know…I’m not married…anymore…twice. BUT I find your questions of Paul very exciting. And you’re right, you shouldn’t keep track or tally up your end of what you do or have done for him. And vice versa. But knowing you and knowing Paul, that’s never going to be the case…many people really, really need to learn that. (me) We can apply your words to friendships as well. Business relationships, parent/child relationships, and probably a few more I haven’t thought of. Practicing that act of self-sacrifice is an amazing gift others can outwardly see in you. Another act of Christian servitude with glad-tidings all rolled up into a few simple acts. Surely an inspiration and loving advice for those of us who want to solidify and dig deeper into personal relationships. Thanks for posting this, Joanne…you always bring to the forefront wonderful things to ponder! XO
You crack me up. So true…TWO questions that are relationship-changers no matter what your marital status, or un-status. 😉
Joanne, such kind and loving questions to ask.
I am not so good at asking what my husband needs, partly because he is SO independent… which is lovely and helpful and I’m not complaining. I am the same way, but we have both become more aware of looking for opportunities to help one another.
We do pray for each other, every single day, specific things that we know the other is dealing. We are apart four days a week so it’s important to stay grounded through prayer, especially for our marriage. God is faithful as he has shown us a new appreciation for one another, since we are apart and we cherish our time together. Kind of like dating all
over again, but with lots more responsibilities… and bills:)
My husband is, too, Dale. I sometimes have to really press him a bit. Just knowing we are willing is the best gift.