David. His name means beloved.

David. His name means beloved.  My child of laughter. The child who desires joy before anything else is graduating. When he was born I remember thinking, What do I do with a little boy? Being raised in a predominantly female family, I didn’t understand boys.

His big sister pushed aside her Barbies and made a special place for him. Still, she made it clear who was boss.  Dressing him up in her favorite clothes and sparkly heels, she helped give us lots of photo ammunition for his future.

I realized quickly what a son means to a mother’s heart. Warm snuggles. Silly giggles. Wiggly worms and squirmy critters.

He pretends to be tough. He acts like he’s strong and nothing can hurt him. I know differently. His heart leads him. Just last night he came into our bedroom, “Hey, Dad, Mom…are you still awake?” Peeking his head in to check.

“Come in, son.” His dad called.

“There’s a girl I know who lost her mom tonight. She passed away from cancer.”

“That’s so sad. I’m sorry, honey. Did you know the mom?” I asked.

“Yeah. She was really nice. She always came into the feed store and bought her rabbit food from me. I could tell she was sick. She didn’t have any hair.”

“Yeah, son, that’s really sad.” My husband shared.

“I left her daughter a message on Facebook tonight. I told her, “I knew your mom. She was really nice. I’m so sorry about her passing away.”

“That was kind of you, David.”

“So, Mom if you plan on dying any time soon don’t make it cancer. Die jumping from an airplane or backflipping into shark infested waters, okay?”

It’s this comedian with a heart that kept me from killing him when fun overruled chores and friends crowded out Geometry. When his father stayed up at night counting creative ways to take his life with his bare hands, I reminded him of the big hearted child inside the clumsy man-body.

David kicked up my prayer life this year. He brought me to my knees and much closer to God. When he left home in anger I cried and begged God to watch over him, to take care of him. Finally, I surrendered. In the quiet of my room, my window was open. I felt the Lord’s whisper on the breeze. His words were a comfort to my hurting mom-heart.

Don’t worry, Joanne. I’ll take it from here.

This evening when I watch my son walk on stage to receive his high school diploma, I’ll exhale with joy over his 3.2 GPA and thank God for bringing us through this year. Others may see a 5’10 young adult in a silky green cap and gown, I will see my precious child.

David. His name means beloved