There’s something about runny eggs and lumpy pancakes served by dimpled hands and chubby cheeks that makes my mom-heart all a-flutter. So, what does marriage and Mother’s Day have to do with one another? Alot.
As much as I love to watch my own four attempt to honor me, I’ve been known to be a bit cranky on Mother’s Day. No, not with my kids…with my husband.
You see, before our children were old enough to attend school where teachers orchestrate toothpick gifts and clay creations, the brunt of this day would fall on guess who? My husband.
After giving birth to my fourth child only weeks before Mother’s Day, I was sure Paul was going to celebrate my day with a five-course gourmet breakfast and a Blue Angels fly-over. When my little Gracie climbed up into my bed and whispered almost in tears, “Mommy, Daddy didn’t take us to get anything for you.” The fury of an angry postpartum lioness possessed my mom-body.
In an attempt to salvage the day, Paul ran out and purchased a plant from a guy selling Harley Davidson throw rugs.
No, I never expected him to buy me anything grand or even expensive. But, after delivering him a ten pound son, I expected him to have our kids at least draw me a squiggly picture and maybe bring me some cold French Toast with a side of lukewarm orange juice.
If you’re lucky enough to have an amazing husband that takes your little ones and circles the wagons around you this Sunday—good for you.
But, for those of us with incredible husbands who lack wisdom on a day they blame on Hallmark, here’s my 3 tips for keeping your marriage intact:
Mute Button. Keep your thoughts to yourself. Expectations have a way of muddying the marriage waters. Be grateful for whatever your husband does orchestrate with your little ones. Even if that means he’s running out to purchase a bouquet of wilted flowers from a guy at the gas station on his way home from church. Your kids are watching. Hold that tongue. You’ll be happy you did. I promise.
Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger. James 1:19
Order Out . It keeps the peace. Nothing says “I love you Mom” like Chinese take-out. Remind your husband of the nearest restaurant by leaving the phone number on a sticky-note on his iPhone—or his forehead.
And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace. James 3:18
Marriage is Forever. Remember, you made a vow. You told God and your husband that you would love him for better or worse. That includes his poor Mother’s Day habits. Remember, marriage is forever—Mother’s Day is only once a year.
When you vow a vow to God, do not delay paying it, for he has no pleasure in fools. Pay what you vow. It is better that you should not vow than that you should vow and not pay. Ecclesiastes 5:4-5
After fifteen years of marriage, my husband still oversees Mother’s Day with the kids. I’ve learned gift-giving is not my husband’s love language, but, acts of service definitely are. I recently shared with him, “I think I know what I want for Mother’s Day.”
“What?” His voice cracked.
“I’d love it if the kids (you) cleaned out the garage and maybe took a run to the dumps. We need to have a garage sale before we move.”
“Okay. Sounds good to me. How about we make you a nice breakfast before we get to work?” He smiled, looking relieved.
Now, let me share something with you. Cleaning the garage is going to happen no matter what. We’re moving. It’s a no-brainer. So, why would I ask him to do something like that for me on Mother’s Day?
Because I know it makes him feel good to serve me like that. Plus, he’s a great dictator and is energized after telling the kids what to do for hours.
What would I really like for Mother’s Day?
Runny eggs and lumpy pancakes sound good to me.
Pilar Challoner says
You are so great…. I was feeling a little blue today for you reasons you understand. After I read your post, I feel inspired, grateful and am thinking about what is important today, not was has happened in the past. Love you…. will miss you so much! Don’t ever stop writing…. you have so much to give that we all need to read! ^_^
Thanks Pilar! You are a doll. And, just know that I’m going to miss YOU and the girls at FPD SO much. Don’t let the past bring you down. I know what you’re referring to. This scripture is for you my friend – Isaiah 43:18-19
Thanks for coming in early tomorrow morning!
This article made me laugh today and have certainly learned during my 30 years of marriage not to sweat the small stuff. I told my husband yesterday I just want new cushions for the patio furniture…he laughed and said that doesn’t have to be for mothers day. I know but that is truly what i want along with bear hugs from my 17 & 13yr olds. thanks for the laugh and encouragement.
You’re so welcome Karen. Thank YOU for the encouragement!