“You’re going to LOVE it here.”
These six words strung together create the most common sentence we’ve heard from locals since arriving in Middle Tennessee.
I want to love it here, but just can’t. The ones I love, the places I love just aren’t here with me.
We were created to be in relationship with one another. No time in my life have I discovered this to be more true. What I miss most about California is the people I love. In my few weeks here, I ’ve come to realize this: until I love people here, I won’t love it here.
Sure, it’s been a sweet time; being able to hang out just the five of us (we’ve missed our 6th – Meghan, though). We’ve had the opportunity to create family memories we’ll be able to bounce around the Thanksgiving table through the ages. (No one lives in a 400 square foot hotel room together for nine days and doesn’t have a good story or two.)
I know enough about love to know love takes time. As cliche as it sounds, my love for Paul is stronger and deeper than when we first wed. No one could’ve told me in my 20s I’d love my husband more in my 40’s with our grey hair and the changes age brings. But, I do.
I want to love it here. But, I don’t want a love that’s fleeting. I want this love to be lasting and painfully deep. This is our honeymoon time, living in our rental home, in an area with gigantic bugs, humidity, and not the friendliest of neighbors. It’s a place for all of us where all things are new, where we have much grace for one another and no bitterness. There are no tainted experiences and a clean slate of opportunities. It’s like living in the sweet spot of adventure.
This morning, I was perusing the Internet and came across the verse in Isaiah that speaks right to me:
Do not remember the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold! I’m doing a new thing. Shall you not know it? I’m creating a stream in the desert and a road in the wilderness. Isaiah 43:18-19A great reminder to stop bringing to mind the coffee house back home I loved, the neighbors I loved, and the hairstylist I loved. When my heart and soul are filled with what was, there’s no room for what is or what will be.
Once I begin to leave a little room in my heart for what and who lies ahead—I know I’ll begin to love it here.
This really touched my heart, and I will be praying for you and your family to quickly form the bonds that will make Tennessee “home.” I’ve been blessed to live in the same city my whole life (Louisville, KY – right up the road from Tennessee), and I’ve often wondered how I would react if God moved me to a new place. I imagine I’d be struggling just like you are.
As I said, count on my prayers for your family in the days and weeks to come. And if you ever decide to take a road trip up to Louisville, I’d be delighted to give you some helpful tips about sightseeing, dining and lodging, or even to be your personal tour guide! 🙂
Sending love to you across the miles. Love your words about your deeper love for Paul. Ain’t that the truth. Hug {{{Joanne}}}
I know you’ll grow to love people in Tennessee and as soon as they know you, they’ll love you too! Enjoy the journey of discovery Joanne. You’ll always have a cheering section in Northern California!
Sending hugs your way! I’ve lived in California all my life. I cannot imagine moving. But if the Lord calls, I will go. Praying He brings special people into your life there that you will soon call friends!
Thanks Barbie, I appreciate your prayers. I’m still VERY connected with our home state. So, you still might see me around!
CONVICTION! I’ve lived in Wisconsin for 10 years this September and I still struggle with missing Colorado. It was a God ordained move. I watched in amazement as he put all the pieces for the move together in less than 2 weeks!. But I’ve just never “settled” here and I long (with guilt) for the day to move someplace better.
Kim, praying for you tonight. I truly believe once we love on others in our area, God will work out the relationships along the way. Hang in there!