Get my kids alone for more than four seconds and they’ll share the flaws I’ve had as a mother. Although, A.D.D. Activity Denial Disorder may not be one they’d include. Because, after all, signing them up for lots of activities wasn’t as much a burden on them as it was on me. This chapter was a fun one to write. My desire was to write the truth with lots of humor. If I can get my reader to smile, or even laugh, they’re more open to listening to what I have to say. I was surprised when the publisher left in the word “wasted” (see previous excerpt at http://www.OneSoBlessed) yet deleted another section of my book (which I plan on including in my next one!).
For now, here’s another sneak peek at Just Too Busy – Taking Your Family on a Radical Sabbatical. My prayer is that you’ll see yourself or busy-mom you love in these words and share this link with them, or better yet…bless them with this book.
Activity Denial Disorder
“I’m too busy?” I repeated my girlfriend’s ridiculous accusation out loud. How dare she judge my life? She had no idea what it was like to raise four children. My busyness was under control. I had always prided myself on that one true fact; I had a handle on everything. Constant activity was quite normal. And if you had the guts to point out the obvious, I considered it attack and you were soon labeled my enemy.
If you were to examine me as a doctor would, the diagnosis was busyness, with a secondary disorder I liked to call A.D.D. Activity Denial Disorder. The prognosis was good as long as I treated this disorder by slowing down. But first, I needed to recognize I was sick.
Denial is a funny little creature. It finds wicked pleasure in talking all of us busy moms into believing everything is just fine. “Oh, goodness gracious dear…” Denial pats your arm to console, “…the problem is definitely not you. It is obviously everyone and everything else!” Denial pretends to be your very best friend, whispering in your ear, “The children just love getting up at 6am for a soccer game…three hours away—for six months of Saturdays.” Denial will sometimes manipulate. “If you don’t let your daughter try out for choir, everyone will think you are a bad mom.” It will stop at nothing to keep you busy. “You are giving your kids the childhood you never had.” Denial will even give bad wardrobe advice. “Of course, leg warmers are back in style!”
Have you ever suffered from A.D.D.? I have. I still struggle with it. Go ahead and Google it. It seems non-existent. If you were to search Web M.D. or Wikipedia, you wouldn’t be able to find one word on this universal epidemic there either. Yet, this disorder wreaks havoc in the lives of millions every day. It is real my friends, very real. Even sadder, there is no prescription available for sufferers like myself. Pay close attention while I share a few signs and clear markings of a sufferer of A.D.D. I must start by telling you this, the first symptom is denial.
Denial is the disbelief in something true and factual. I’ve heard it said the first step to healing is admitting you have a problem. But, if you don’t think you have a problem, doesn’t that mean you don’t have one? I had to admit I had a problem first. Seeing my over-activity was the first step at breaking Denial’s spell. Busyness doesn’t initially come at you with both guns blazing. It is quite a bit sneakier than that. Are you still wondering if you are a tried and true busy mom with A.D. D.?
If you still do not see a problem, let’s look at the next few symptoms here, shall we? Busy moms look like any other mom. The ones with A.D.D. are more obvious than most. Look closely and the signs become apparent. This mom usually has no time to herself, ever. On any given day, she feels pulled in twenty different directions. Well meaning moms with A.D.D. have a huge problem saying no. These gals’ serial-volunteer and are the first to raise their hands for anything. They carry the burden of helping into every situation. Take the time to listen closely, all in one week you will hear these words, “Yes, I’d love to be room mom. Not a problem.” “Of course, I can make the team banner.” “Carpool this week? I can do it.” They love their little ones passionately and will sometimes sacrifice their own marriages to give their children the life they never had. Sadly, this contagious disorder is an epidemic among us moms.