Years ago, my husband and I attended a church that was wonderful at teaching God’s Word. Unfortunately, as a ministry, they lacked the gift of encouragement. More often, as a church body, we were schooled on trials and tribulations. It was a sad and stunted environment to grow in.
The same can be said about encouragement for children. Each day, I teach them lots of do’s and don’ts, but am I encouraging them in the process? God says encouragement is a gift.
My husband is an attorney. From time to time, I tag along with him when he has to be in court. Recently, he was appointed to represent a mother who was trying to regain custody of her teenage son. After some poor decisions by his parent, this child was now in foster care.
When this teen sat down outside of the court room, he was dressed all in black, slumped down in his chair, his iPod clearly drowned out the world around him. His body language screamed, leave me alone and stay away. I watched as his social worker sat down beside him. She smiled and motioned for him to take his ear plugs out. I couldn’t help but overhear their conversation. “I just finished reading your reports. I am so proud of you. You are doing great! You are my shining star.” she said, grinning from ear to ear.
With each word of encouragement and praise, this young man’s whole countenance changed. It was as if I was watching a deflated balloon fill up with air. The once wilted flower began to sit up after a long and much needed drink. I wanted to cry for him. God’s Word says, “The tongue has the power of life and death…” Proverbs 18:21 How true that is.
It reminded me of how important words of encouragement are to our children. We see a perfect picture of an encouraging parent in Matthew 3:17, after Jesus is baptized, His Father makes it clear to all of us, just how He feels about His precious son. “And a voice from Heaven said, ‘This is my Son, whom I love, with him I am well pleased.’”
I make a point to tell my children how precious they are to me. If they make mistakes, I encourage them still. No matter how old my children are, from time to time I will peek my head in their room at bedtime and tell them, “How in the world did I get the best ten-year-old in the whole wide world?” My children usually respond in a giggle or a joyful wiggle under their covers. One night our daughter Grace answered, “Because God loves you.”
My child had learned that encouragement is a two-way street. Now, it was my turn to grin from ear to ear.
Take a moment today and publicly praise your child. Ask God to shine a light on areas your son or daughter could use some life-giving praise. Speak those words out loud and in front of the rest of the family. Then watch your child grow!
Hi Joanne, I’m here via Sheila Wray Gregoire’s email that included an excerpt from your book.
This blog post is a good reminder for me – thank you! I’m always complaining to my husband that people in general aren’t very encouraging to each other, yet how often do I pass up an opportunity to encourage one of my children?
LOVE this… you’re such an encouraging writer and you always give me such great ideas/inspirations to use as a wife and parent.
Great post, Joanne. I can’t remember who said it, but I love the quote that goes something like this, “Encouragement is oxygen to the soul.”
It’s true for grownups and certainly true for us as parents–and I don’t care how old our kids are! Our adult children need to hear our good words, too, sometimes even more. That’s easy to forget because, well, they’re adults
Thanks for the reminder.
A great post – and yes – the power of encouragement should never be underestimated.
I want my kids to grow up feeling loved and encouraged.
The actual result in a school test is not the most important thing to me, it’s that they worked hard and tried their best that counts.
Another good post. We simply can’t overestimate the value of encouragement. It is so important that God considers it one of the spiritual gifts he imparts. If we are in the Spirit, I believe we all have it to some degree – we just need to call on it.