Lunch during a writers conference is a special time. The authors, speakers, publishers and editors who taught the classes sit down and eat with you. As you enter the lunch room their tables are marked with their name tag. Lots of people rush in to sit by their person of choice- oddly reminiscent of Black Friday at Kohl’s.
It’s a great opportunity for writers to pitch their book ideas and network with others.
This year I wasn’t charging the table for anyone. The creamy garlic penne pasta had my full attention. But, one of my friends somehow got a hold of me and excitedly told me we were all sitting over there, as she pointed to the table off in the distance.
As my friends came into view I saw the only vacant seat was right beside our guest speaker. Not my first choice. Now I’d have to cut my food into much smaller bites. This gifted man has written numerous novels. His work is well-known. He’s kind of a big deal in the writing world.
As I sat down I could hear he was already asking everyone about what they were writing. By the time he got to me my mouth was full of cranberry-walnut spinach salad. I turned my face away so as not to shower Mr. Novel Writer with raspberry vinaigrette.
My tongue stumbled over an almond and I misspoke as I shared what I was writing. I chuckled and corrected myself. Being the touchy person I am, (my face still turned away chewing my elephantine mouthful of greens) I reached my left hand out to laugh and kindly touch his shoulder.
This is where the scene goes horribly wrong.
My hand missed his shoulder and landed on his thigh…under the table.
Have you ever had one of those moments? You know – when silently every microscopic molecule in your body is screaming?
Then you know exactly what I’m talking about.
The rest of lunch was a blur. I immediately stood up and did what any middle-aged godly woman would do. I ran to the dessert table and ate a plate of chocolate cheesecake brownies.
Mr. Bigtime Author was kind enough not to shame me. But, he kept his distance after that.
Did I tell you I am going to the Mount Hermon’s Christian Writers conference in a few days? Pray for me. I hope to keep my hands to myself.
Originally posted February 2009
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